La Paciencia es una Virtud

I lack patience. Big time. I'm always running doing and seeing and yet I never take the time to slow down and let things simmer so maybe they can be right. Its either hot or cold. I don't like waiting. Because to me, everything should be black or white. But it can't always be. I have so much on plate and yet I want so much more. Maybe if I really focus on the present instead of trying to move on the the next stage in life I will feel satisfied.
Just some random thoughts as usual. I think I'm finally starting to see that I'm on a quest to feel content but I forget that is never fully achieved because then you are quite possibly settling. So. Here I am on a beautiful Saturday and I'm making the decision to stop waiting for the right time, to really make TODAY and NOW what I want it to be. Suggestions are welcome :)

Psht.

Dude. I have a peeve. Why is it that some people think they know what went on in a relationship and feel the need to give their two cents? ESPECIALLY when its so over and done with? I have some new rugby guy that pointed out I had a relationship with an old guy (which, this new guy has no idea how close we were, as friends) and a crush on another. He said that in response to me telling him to pretty much fuck off if he wanted to hang around my teammates just because they were cute. UGH. I think this is one of those things I won't understand because for me to be attracted to someone I have to talk with them some, get a feel for who they are. I just wouldn't stick around something I care nothing about simply because I find someone physically attractive. It makes me so incredibly...idk. But I just don't understand. And then and THEN he said I shouldn't get so defensive. I know I'm overly defensive. But I feel like people don't know what lines not to cross. Then again, unless he really knew me well I would guess he has no clue how sensitive a subject Napoleon and Brad are for me. Ugh. But still, his really close friend D knows and I KNOW if this guy knows about Napoleon and Brad he knows the ending of it and that its a place you don't go with me. Idk. I'm being mean. I just hate that reminder of them. Brad is a great friend but I don't need to be reminded that we had an awkward stage. And Napoleon. I would just simply like to erase him from my memory. In essence, I don't need some freshman to remind me of things that he knows nothing about. :( Sorry kids. Annoyed. If anyone reads this, hopefully no one catches this one! Haha. Oh well. It is what it is.

Firecracker

I have mucho to get off my chest. No idea where to begin. Oh! And its not negative, just pet peeves and some other random thoughts.
I am staying with my friend this week and it stinks, not having a way to get around. Coming home to a place that isn't yours. I can't wait to get back to my place. Not that I don't enjoy their company and what they're doing for me, its just can't completely relax because its not home. I never did do well with sleepovers.
So I've been thinking about moving to Chattanooga. Which I would love to do but I need more of a reason to. I'm praying Sergeant Silver can work her magic and get me ADSW. I really love working with her and at the unit. It feels productive I guess is the best word. And I have talking with my friend about being roommates if and when I move here. But this is my thing. She is amazing, great company but we are different and I don't think living together would be fun. I like stablility as far as what I'm doing during the day, mostly planned stuff and she is just more carefree I think when it came to house chores and guests it would become annoying. I've had roommates before and I love my me time. Coming home and its mine and I can do what I want and relax. So. I'm just not sure. We will see.
Guys. Always a popular topic. Its funny, as much as I am anti-relationship right now how much I notice other's romantic lives. Not as in I want that, as in I see them and think, "why do you want that?" I have a lot of growing up to do, I need to stop thinking that my thoughts are common sense. Because, its just not. God gives everyone different experiences at different times to teach us things. And, as much as I see someone is unhappy, maybe it just doesn't phase them. Maybe, its fine to them. I just don't want added stress. A man is supposed to bring out the best in me and vice versa. I see that most guys and people in general take my happiness for naiveness. And yea, I'm naive, just not nearly as much as people like to assume. I have substance, a lot, okay guys? And the ones who do love my giddiness are either amazing friends that have that mindset that they can set the world on fire and are happy people or they are creepy old men that think the age difference is hot and want to get in my pants. Disgusting. These are the ones that like to invade my bubble and stand way too close to me or constantly touch me, pat my leg touch my arm or something. EW. GROSS. GO AWAY.
Lets see what else?
Oh my goodness. I am SO READY FOR SUMMER. NICE WEATHER. This crappy weather really takes away from the spring in my step that I like to have. It puts a kink in my muscles, throws a fork in my mood. I'm just dying with this awful weather. Ugh.
I'm ready to kill it and be running again and sweating and playing rugby...OUTDOORS. I HATE BEING INSIDE. Aw man and I want some new clothes. Goodness. This is making me depressed just thinking about it. I'm for real going to move to Miami when I get back from deployment. I'm ready to shine. Even if it sounds silly, the weather brings out the best in me. And I'm ready to always be my best. Idk how to compromise for such a long time. Idk. Maybe I can if I get a workout room or maybe join a gym. But what about outdoors? :((((
Okay. I'm done whining. Last thing...I LOVE RUGBYYYYY!!!!!!!