Grumpy Jamie!

Okay you got the warning...GRUMPY JAMIE! Well, more like angry Jamie. I'm considering the idea that I may or may not have a temper. I just have such a low tolerance for stupidity! Here's what happened:

We had to go to the CTE this morning to verify our accounts. To start the day off, they load us onto a bus 3 hours before the crew to verify our accounts gets there. Whatever. Baird and I sat around and he told me about hunting. It was kind of cool. We ended up being there for 5 hours for 30 minutes worth of work. Okay, fine. I'm in the Army and this unit is so dicked up any ways its far from surprising. Well, tonight I called SFC I to get our time for tomorrow. My understanding is that EVERYONE was going to be involved in the dry runs (starting tomorrow). Well, when I spoke with him he said not everyone would be. So then, I asked, "so you're sending the people who haven't done this before to get them training?" and he immediately got offended and said, "no because then who will train them?" And I responded, "well I figured they'd learn the same way we did, just by DOING THE SCENARIOS AND FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS." Of course, I didn't yell that last part at him. He then got mad and told me I was on his list to go and I definitely had to go. When the final list way scrubbed, I know of 2 new people going and 5 people who have already been through this shit. This is why I'm mad. I am not trained on this equipment. I want to take a class on it rather than waste my days doing shit I already have done. It only makes sense! AND IF they still need people to go and train the others then HELLO TAKE THE PEOPLE WITH JOBS AND TRAINING. I merely jumped in and took initiative when I could. Granted, I felt successful in what I did but I had no defined role. Nor did I play on the CPOF system. Well Revitzer texted me being a dick and then tried to make nice by telling me to call him and be patient and polite and explain to him. HELL NO. I was already respectful on the phone the first time, laid out the reasoning and he jumped the gun. Its not my job to question him. He needs to be the fucking NCO and make the decision. Well THEN Rev said he's pretty much making me go because I made him mad and he's being spiteful. Oops. I make no apologies for my words. I know when I have been out of line and I wasn't tonight. Just because bringing it to your attention offended you, it doesn't mean I was wrong. I can't wait to actually make plans. This is the most ass-backwards, inefficient unit. And there is something incredibly wrong if I can see the holes as an E4. UGH!!!! I HATE STUPIDITY! You are making me go to training I don't need because I made you flustered and brought up a valid point???! Whatever. I don't feel dumb. I feel like a bitch and I don't really care. Ooo. Angry! Okay. Moving on, I am done with it now. Tomorrow I'll be a grouch and complain about how worthless the day was but I am going to try my best to stay in line.

Aside from that, I had an excellent run today. It went really fast, didn't stop and there were a lot of people out there today. Its kind of hard to gauge yourself, running alone, but I kept up with most of the guys which surprised me. I am about to yell across the room to one of these lazy medics! I hate hearing them complain about their jobs! YOU'RE A MEDIC! YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE! And, if you have no heart for it, you have no business being in that field!

Hm. What else aside from the fact that I'm feeling very outspoken currently? I'm going to stretch, read some tonight. Already took my delightful shower. My favorite. And wake up refreshed and hyper as ever in the am. Ah. Maybe. Its all tentative. Well. Sorry this post was so incredibly grumpy, but I do feel better getting this off my chest.

"Words Can Be Daffodils Or A Fire In An Open Field"

I'll get the current gripe out of the way first. Okay. So we were told what rooming would be like over there. For my rank, E4 and below, we're in an open bay separated by 4 man cubicles. The whole bay is controlled by one light switch. Before I complain, I KNOW I'm an E4 and I understand that I get the scut of the room assignments. Understand. THATS not my problem. My problem is that there are NO E4s and below that would make halfway decent roommates. Maybe one. But, uh, hello thats two other people to make my life miserable. I hate roommates. I've lived with them for 3 of the 5 years I've lived in TN. And, while someone can make a great friend, LIVING with someone is so different. Guys are excusable, disgusting girls are not. Absolutely not. I don't see the problem with living with someone higher ranking as long as you both want to and its in your chain of command. I can put up with anything all day long. ANYTHING. As long as I have some space and a nice place to come back to. Living with my last roommate I really blocked what I hated out. I just would work and either come home and stay in my room or just go somewhere and not come home until I absolutely had to. Anyways. I don't know what to do about this room roster. Because my options suck and I am so so so upset about it. I hate living in this bay as it is! People are just so incredibly gross and inconsiderate. Ugh. =( Done whining now.

Yesterday I worked in the TOC all day, had lunch with Becky, worked more, then ran with her and we went to dinner. We ran out of hot water but I don't really care, because while it sucks, at least we have water. Some people are going to use baby wipes and wash their hair in the sink until they fix the water on Tuesday. Um. NO! So gross! I will be taking a cold shower.

Today I'm going to work on some other training I have and do some stuff for the commander that he asked me to do. And run and clean my weapon since I'm turning mine in Monday for the CTE. Which, I am SO EXCITED FOR! I love section training. And I really hate having nothing to do. So, good stuff.

Main goal for these next few days is to get to bed earlier, I think I have found a way to get around these loud people, get into more of a schedule and get organized! They FINALLY released our new packing list so I can get rid of a lot of junk! Yayyyy. My wall locker has stayed organized but its been a REAL pain to have to go around somethings I don't need and to put them back. Oh and getting over this last bit of sickness. Definitely.

OMG

Is it totally inappropriate to title my post OMG? Haha. It just seems really ummm...juvenile. Definitely the only way to sum this up. Okay first off. CPX boyfriend is ENGAGED! Um. Gay! Lol. Its more of a joke at this point but still, I was excited to see this kind soul and see what was up! Sheesh. Sad day.

Andddddd my MSG just told her significant other that she, "is not cheating on him with a long haired blonde girl". Hahahaha. I have mucho hair and my hair be falling out mucho despite how much I brush it =( Sowrrrryyyyy!

Today consisted of death. Yes. DEATH. Death by powerpoint, that is. I had to do this stinkin survival class, which, is EXTREMELY interesting (no really, it is!) BUT the connection has been so bad here that I had to keep restarting it! So, I am STILL not finished! Its awful.

I am also very sad that I did not get to run today! =((( We had some S1 time last minute and then had to go to chow and then go back to another meeting. And, with a 0430 formation it just didn't happen =(

So. Gloomy day, not bad. Just a "boo" kindda day. Surely someone knows what I mean. Welp. Tis all! Here's to a better tomorrow, I do hope!

Long Hot Summer

Long Hot Summer. Its a song by Keith Urban. All of his music is so good! But with all this cold wind and weather its nice to think about. I'm sure I'll regret that soon enough. Oh well! Much rather be hot than cold! It is going to be just that though, a long hot summer...year.

Today I was soooo incredibly obnoxiously hyper. Haha. My dear section. They put up with me. I woke up so so SO sleepy! But, I love mornings and I started taking these vitamins. Highly obnoxious, I think I should skip them and spare the world. But I had soooo much energy today even though I was so tired. We did some section training today, which, of course I loved because there is not a better section in this brigade. Well Rev and I wanted to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings so we made the rest of them come. I called it, "A Family Outing". They loved it, duh! Haha. Then I came back here and just ran some errands for the Commander mostly. He has dubbed me the "Unit Morale Officer". I'm okay with that, very suitable.

Oh! And I got to Skype the adorable cousins tonight! They sang for me and did a dance for the barracks apparently. My sweet girls. I absolutely adore them. Chloe made the volleyball team at GPS and TIM MCGRAW came to her swim meet this past weekend! Um! HELLO!!!! I NEVER miss her swim meets! Why couldn't he pop in when I was there?! Oh AND I got to see the highlights from game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. Phenominal. Thats all I can say about that. Can't wait for baseball to start up again. Ummm. OH! And I can't wait to get over there and play sports! Geesh. That's all I have now, super hyper...still. But I'm attempting to do something to get rid of it. Idk what yet, still to sick to run because I can't breathe =( I'm hoping tomorrow. Beck and I are going to the PX to get some bday cards. Awww. Precious lambs, all of my little brigade. Kayyy bye!

Albert Einstein

I hate being sick. And I HATE being sick away from home! You have no one to take care of you, you can't sleep in your own bed and there's just no comforts of your own home. Not to mention its impossible to find good soup around here! I have been extremely OCD since I've been here. Some people might say its overboard, but when you live with like 31 other people in the same room, its definitely not. Especially with all these vaccinations and whatnot. I have been eating an orange at EVERY meal, cloroxing the shower before and after, washed my sheets 4 times since we've been here, washed and sanitized my hands like crazy and I still got sick. I heard a little talk from some of the workers out here and also Chief and I talked about it. There was one worker who told me she worked out here for 3 years and was always sick with sinus infections, getting nosebleeds, etc. Well, she said within 30 days of her moving back to Bliss she was back to normal and not sick all the time. She said during WWI and WWII they tested a lot of things out here and its in the sand. And sure enough, ole Albert Einstein himself was housed out here. They even tested the first nuclear bomb here! So, its in the sand. This is why I buy that. I have had my allergies bothering me a little but nothing big. Well, the last 3 days I have been outside training all day and I woke up and I knew I was sick. Normally, when I go outside, I feel better. I tend to have indoor allergies. Anyways, got some medicine...honestly can't tell a difference =( Mostly I've just been tired today. So gay.

I did go and test my gas mask today and then Shelby and I went to Bliss for some errands. I have to do a class online tonight because I'm tied up with section training. I'm super excited about that though! Our section is hands down the best. They managed to get me out of CQ AND have a bus reserved just for the 9 of us all week. Oh! And I got a package today from my beyond cute cousins. They're the best!

I'm sitting in the barracks and these girls are practicing for boards...for E3 to E4! Really?! Its silly, good for them though. Good for ANYONE, mind you. But still crazy. They don't even board E3s on Active Duty! Speaking of, I'm thinking about going Active...again. But, I still don't think its for me. I really want to finish my college and be a doc. Being an officer Active Duty wouldn't be as bad and I'll have to if the Army pays for my Med School.

These girls! Singing the Army song. This is insanity. Haha. Oh! One last thing. Next week during our exercise, CPX love will be there, apparently they are still playing with us. Coolness!

Feels So Right

There's something really strange about Army life. You have no idea what day it is and you are just totally in your own world. Well, let me go back and add a disclaimer even though I know many will agree with me. TO ME, this is how Army feels. I've realized, for the most part, I'm a very "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person. If its not in frontof me, I have a hard time grasping the "theory" of things. I'm very logical, I think. Today is Sunday and while most people are recovering from their drunken weekends or families are going to church and preparing for the work week. Even though I hate the lack of planning, I LOVE not knowing what will happen. Because, you expect the worst and the good things come as a very pleasant surprise. Such as, no CQ! Haha, I'm not sure how I got out of it, but I'm pretty sure it had to do with my NCOIC/OIC. They're freaking awesome. Of course, days like yesterday when we don't get back until almost 10pm, it does kind of suck, but it is still really cool to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing,

being a solider.

Yesterday was really fun, cold and kind of boring, but all that waiting is ALMOST worth it to go and shoot our weapons. ESPECIALLY night fire! We were out until about 1400 then came back for a 4 hour break then back out at nightfall to do night fire. Trust me, there's nothing cooler in the Army than night fire. Anyways. I loved it. My battles make me laugh. I NEED to take more pictures though, I love photography and want more pics of all this. I have some videos I do need to upload.

I have a friend from college and she is currently in the same country we are going to so I REALLY hope I get to see her some! Just thought of that =)

Oh! I get do some some of my own job training this next week then we start our Command Training Exercise, which, I really enjoyed last time. Hopefully I get to meet this Fortier character soon, geesh. Haha. That is all, going to clean some and get ready for my language training.

Every Sky Is Your Own Kind Of Blue

Normally I have a title before a post before I put it up. Because I know what I want to talk about before I begin. I have a PLAN. Tonight, not so much.

I've hit on this several times, but I want to say it again. I am so glad to be here. It sounds sooo bad, but I don't want to be at home. Thankfully, I have no serious anyone or kids so its easy. I realize its not for everyone, but I am grateful I feel this way. Geesh. I am still young but looking around at my battle buddies, young and old, it just seems like baggage. I hate that it sounds like that, but you can't do what you want without hurting someone. I know being a doctor and especially one in the Army, it will really compromise my family time. But for me, a significant other doing what he loves is what makes me happy...seeing THEM happy. I think people start feeling neglected and thats where it starts. But when you start feeling neglected I think its a lot of jealousy. I don't want that...ever. Sigh. Its just disheartening =(

Another thing I was thinking about, my MSG talked to me last night and asked me if I knew time in service and time in grade were waived in country for promotions to E5 and E6. I told her I didn't, but it was good to know (I was thinking in terms of what my job entails) then she asked me if I was ready to be an NCO. First thought came out of my mouth, of course, because I have no filter. And I said "Hell no". She laughed and then said to think about it and I told her to ask me in like June...or July...or in a year. Well, today we actually did training and holy shit. Maybe I'm undermining what it really takes to do everything. BUT I KNOW there's no reason to have an OPORDER out yesterday morning and AFTER I completed my mission...today...at1400, THEN I find out about the OPORDER?! REALLY?! No. Thats ridiculous. And, not to mention my TC today only told me when to go Green and Red, had no idea why I was driving around...at all. I didn't know until the OTCs told me! He asked me and I was honest with him..."WTF, we had an OPORDER yesterday morning and a FRAGO this morning? Really?" Yea, I hate being clueless but what I hate more is when you TRY to get info and you're told, "an E4 doesn't need to know everything" Right, I don't care what another group is doing...but, um, HELLO, I THINK I need to know what I'M doing! So, idk if I'm ready to be a leader but I will do much better. I will do my job like I do everything. If I fail, I will fail face down and admit it. But I'm no idiot. If I want to be successful at something, I do okay. And my okay is better than some people's best. I don't care how cocky that sounds. If its more than I bargained for I am okay with handling the repercussions. Holy crap. Today was okay. I was irritated in the morning. I am afraid I am accepting the imperfections. Which, personally, I don't think is good. Because if you start saying its okay you just encourage the mistakes. I trust my leaders to promote me when they deem it acceptable and necessary. And when that time comes, I will embrace it with the best attitude and open arms. I'm ready to help be a problem solver. Something I am EXTREMELY proud of, I am getting some kind of patience! =)

Lets see, my CPX love is still MIA. This is a game for me right now. And a very fun one. Rev was in my group today and told me about him. Hahaha. So funny. So cute. I like some fun, its a great form of relief.

I wish my body armor wasn't a size too big, it really hurts! But, oh well, if they let me fix it I will. I can put both of my arms inside my vest...that's very bad. I'm wishing I would have gone running, I'm tired from today but my legs want to run. Love that, I really am glad my knee and feet have been feeling so good due to the recovery stuff and shoes! That's all I got. Oh! Almost! My little cousins are so cute =) I sent them a pic of me in all my gear and they just loved it =) I love seeing them too. Its really sweet. I miss my sweet girls! Okay, that is really all now.

What A Small World!!!

I guess in order to make sense of this story I need to give a little background info. Back in Nov, about half of my unit, including myself, had to head to another state to do some training. It was pretty much practice to prepare us for what we would be doing in country. Well, during this exercise we have to report to a higher unit and receive information from our lower units. Our higher unit, who we will call Unit 1, had a solider who would call sometimes and just clarify some information. Well, Unit 1 is not in our state, not in our region and was not at this exercise with us, they were like in California or something. Anyways, I answer the phones a lot so I would be getting the information and he liked to make small talk and ask about my day and I would do the same. He told me some pretty funny stories to me and that was pretty much it. Well, he started calling and asking for me to answer his questions and Lt. King and SGT Revitzer started teasing me calling it "CPX Love". They even gave me a joke counseling statement because of it. So there's the background for the story. Well yesterday I was out working at the Snakepit and Rev texted me and it said, "Your CPX boyfriend is here!" Also, Rev and King are ridiculous, they push my buttons and just tease me like non other. So, of course Rev and I argue for about 20 minutes and he actually got mad at me for not believing him! Haha, he started cussing at me! I told him I didn't believe him and then SFC Insalaco (who wouldn't lie even if his life depended on it) busts through the door as I'm in the orderly room SWEARING up and down that that the guy really was here. APPARENTLY his unit is MOBing here and he's on the ADVON (advanced party). Insalaco told me he asked for my number and asked if maybe they would give me his number. Oh my goodness. Its so funny! Anyways, I just think this is hysterical and I had to apologize to Rev. Not sure if I'll actually meet this "CPX Boyfriend" because I'm not sure what they're doing and I'm not doing the training with Rev and SFC Insalaco. Anyways, I had to write about this because I still don't really believe them. Well, kindda because SFC Insalaco said it. We will see.

That was what happened yesterday, aside from running, which, isn't as fun getting back into it as it is when you are just always doing it. But I have some really good news! Ever since I went through basic about 2 years ago my left knee really bothers me when I run. I went to 3 different doctors and they all told me it was "runner's knee". They seem to think people just want out of PT, which, is true, most do, but I really wanted to run without pain, I actually like running. I told all 3 doctors that it hurts way more when I run and I had been almost a month without running because of all the profiles they kept giving me. Of course, in one ear and out the other. I really wish they had just done an MRI or something. They even sent me to a Physical Therapist who told me I was fine. No shit Sherlock, I'm not running, thats when it bothers me. Well, I told Doc about it a few days ago and he told me I had torn a ligament and when it healed scar tissue of some sort grew back to heal but that scar tissue doesn't stretch like your ligament does. So, to offset that, you have to do things to strengthen your other ligaments around it for stability. GENIUS!!! I did my stretches and after my 1.7 miles, very little pain compared to what it normally is. And today, nothing but that good soreness that I love =) SO GLAD! I just can't believe the other 3 doctors didn't listen to me and take me seriously. Which, granted being an Army doctor and one to TRADOC soliders has to suck, its no reason to assume I just want out of PT. Anyways, I am extremely relieved and I hope that it stays this way, just gets stronger and I can get running again.

Today, Beck and I are going out to the main post, my poor Beck needs it, she's kindda out of her element here and needs some cheering up. She's been handling it well but I just think she could use some carefree time. But, thats all I got for now! Not sure if I'm running tonight or going to rest like my running schedule I downloaded says. Later taters!

Today! Was A Fairytail!

Hellooooo don't you know eventually my posts will quote TSwifty songs? Haha. Okay. Today was really good. Actually slept well last night, got Chief his BDay presents/cards. And got LT King, J. his bday card. I have officially been dubbed the birthday bandit. Since we've been here I've gotten 6 cards around and signed by most of the unit. Its becoming an additional duty for me. The ma'am is even going to print off a roster for me. But birthdays are a HUGE deal to me. I don't care how much you don't want people to know, its your birthday, shine people! Or at least enjoy the little things! So my favorite present for him is this "autographed" Tim Tebow picture. He HATES the Gators and Tebow he says is queer. So, I printed out a pic of Tebow and wrote: "To: Chief (Chad) Cookston My #1 Fan- Thanks for believing in me and THANK YOU for serving our country. Love ya, mean it. - Tim Tebow (AKA Mr. Awesome) Hahahahaha. I will post a picture later. I also got him some ninja stickers since I call him my Ninja Master. I can't wait till tomorrow, will post a video of him receiving his gifts =)

Lets see, met a Red Sox fan from New Hampshire today! He's an active duty medic, AWESOME guy, he gave Doc and I a ride back out here to our training site. I also got this AMAZING body wash today, called Milk by H2O. It smells heavenly. Anyways.

Tomorrow, gotta go work at the Snakepit for a while. Even though we have no idea what we need for the CTE and what we don't. Ugh. I just hope its not a bad day. Ridiculousness pisses me off. Kayyyy thats all for now, kay bye!

Wants

Okay. I'm going to be a brat. We're deploying and to make things more fun I've made a list of things I want, in order to help me achieve my goals here and afar.

iPad- they have really cool study apps for only the iPad, and its portable to entertain myself with.

iPod touch- I washed mine, its messed up =(

Stationary- For writing letters, because thats cute.

Painting supplies- Need to work on my painting

Medical Flashcards/Study Guides- Need to get smart

Good Inserts- Already got good running shoes, just need inserts for my flatass feet.

Glucosomine- Think I spelled that wrong, but for the crappy knee that hurts when I run.

Matching Towels- My towels don't match and its driving me crazy. Thankfully, my down comforter and nice sheets are in my black box and I will have them over there.

Mattress Pad- For these sucky Army beds.

Okay, done sounding like a brat now =)

Ouchhhhhh

I've been a bum and not gotten on here, sorry! And I have no real excuse, just nothing major to report. Except that it is dryyyyy on this side of the States! Normally my skin kindda regulates itself well. I put lotion on at night and thats pretty much it. Doesn't get too gross and sweaty or clamy and definitely not dry. This is a very worthless lead in, I realize, but my whole body HURTS! This wind is brutal out here and I feel like I am sunburned everywhere. The air is just so dry and cold. My knuckles are bleeding and when I wore shorts to go to the gym, I am pretty sure I exfoliated my legs walking to the gym and back. Haha. Anyways. Brutal, best word to describe this cold dryness. And don't even get me STARTED on running! Shelby and I went running yesterday and it hurt my lungs! That never happens! If I start feeling bad running its because my body starts hurting. I think I read somewhere that it takes about 30 days to acclimate yourself. That means, hopefully, when we get to Kuwait it will be easier. It feels good to be working out again, I miss that familiar soreness after a good workout. Some section meetings, I'm glad my section will be the same no matter what, we all work really well together. Breakfast SUCKS! It is cold every morning. So, I don't think I'm going to waste my time to go catch it. They have way too many soliders for one DFAC. I would throw in numbers, but...OPSEC!Haha. Well, thats all the lameness for now!

Western America!

We moved about 40 minutes away from our other barracks and out to a training site close by...there is NOTHING out here! Seriously its craziness. I have internet in the barracksnow...cost me 62 dollars for 30 days! But, oh well, I know I am doing my best to keep everything updated and really track this adventure. Super exciting, I just dread the day I get sick of it and want to go home. I know I will miss things but I just can't put into words how much I just love this.

Unpacked and set up my bunk, doesn't look too shabby! But, its definitely not my cute little house or my bed. THAT is what I miss! Haha. Tonight we draw our weapons and they are ours for the next year or so. Yuck. Its a real pain, but part of being in the Army. I want to go and buy some new running shoes and sunglasses tonight. We're not supposed to wear contacts but I figure some sunglasses will help protect from the dirt. Because, I struggle to see in my glasses. Well, not really but its definitely not clear like my contacts.

Chlo bird got her braces on today and sent me a picture, she looks DARLING! Lets see, its REALLY cold here, the wind chill really keeps it a lot colder even though its "63" HA! Feels like 40! But we got issued these AMAZING jackets and they are sooo much better than the fleece. I really like them. I need to get some hand creme, they are really dry from washing them so much. That and Vitamin C, I don't want to be sick. I actually just bought cocoa butter but its awful, my hands smell like cake and its just too much.

I imagine our Middle Eastern destination will be very similar geographically to this place. You can see sand for miles and it just feels so exposed around here. Well, thats all I have for now, I'm going to run and wash my hands...again.

Real Quick

Well, I wasn't going to post just yet but in the name of killing time, here goes nothing. We have been pretty busy the past couple of days, as expected. I am currently bumming WiFi and just playing around on the computer. Um. Lets see, cleared SRP yesterday, whoot whoot! It was highly obnoxious, they don't EVER update stuff so therefore I'm getting 2 shots that I got last month AGAIN! Highly obnoxious! Oh well. Lately I have just been enjoying being away from home. I know it sounds really, um, heartless, but this is just where I want to be and no where else. Focusing on me. Selfish, yet well needed. I think I can really have a clear head when I return. So I've been thinking about getting an iPad and I'm buying new running shoes tomorrow or Friday...SOOOO EXCITED! Been trying to keep a video diary of some sort with some of the battles. Fun stuff. Anywho, its on youtube...here's the URL:

http://www.youtube.com/user/jamiecsmith1?feature=mhsn

Well, thats all for now!

Departure

Jan. 8, 2010 9:38pm mountain time

Okay! So even though I don’t have internet connection to officially post this, I figured there’s no way today can’t be written about. So I am typing this and saving on computer to post later.

We are in Texas now! Getting stuff together before we leave the country. Today was good. I thought I was going to lose my mind and cry like a baby but I only got a little teary-eyed over one incident. But first, we’ll go through the day.

Woke up, rushed last minute details and drove to the armory. Where it was PACKED. We have a huge parking lot and I can’t believe I managed to find a space. Ran in, took my last two bags to the office and went to formation. We formed up a little later again for our ceremony. Lots of important people there, I figured there would be but it didn’t dawn on me I guess. So we did that, long formation. Then basically got to hang around with friends and family. That was clearly the best part. My cousins came and we laughed and laughed and took a bajillion pictures. Mom and Katrina and Sue also came. Not much to say, lots of laughter and good luck and God speed. This is what made me all teary-eyed:

Our family readiness guy Scottie told Becky and I he wanted to see us together before we left. So, we got together and he just immediately started crying and pulled out a metal bracelet that said, “Protect the National Guardsmen of Tennessee”, something along those lines. Well, he said everytime a unit deploys he wears that bracelet in honor of someone until they return home. He said he was wearing it in honor of Becky and I and not taking it off until we returned safely. Awwww! Becky lost it, I couldn’t hardly understand what he was saying and I got all teary-eyed. It was definitely the highlight of the day. GREAT and AMAZING friends came out, I can’t tell you how many of my battle buddies families grabbed me and just sobbed. It was very touching. EXTREMELY TOUCHING. So we loaded up the buses, drove off with police escorts to the airport. THAT was my favorite part =) They would like fly around cutting people off to let us go, people would stop in the middle of the road, some pulled off, got out of their cars and waved. Definitely the best. I am super excited and I’m not sure if it will hit me later, I thought it would by now but it hasn’t. Flight went well and this part of Texas is really pretty. Beck and I are going shopping tomorrow since we’re pretty much off, just have a formation and couple of other things. Today was an amazing day, I’m so thankful to be here and on our way =) I think it’s easier for a soldier than for their support because we know what we have to accomplish and we’re busy pursuing the mission. So, if you have had interaction with the military and put up with our craziness first hand, THANK YOU! What we do is way easier than what our support does. Maybe I’m just young and dumb, but its just way too easy to get paid to do what you love with the people you love. Until next time, later taters!

Tommorrow

Welp! Sooooo busy! Bags are packed and laptop is the last to go in. I am going to make this uber short because I'm going on 3 hours of sleep. So excited, but def sad to tell everyone bye. Its going to be really busy, hopefully I get time to unwind each night but we will see. We will have a lot of people at the armory tomorrow to see us off and as much as I totally am excited and felt like I wouldn't cry, I TOTALLY WILL! I'm already all teary-eyed today! I wish I could just take everyone with me. But, this is about to be soooo much stinkin fun. Just can't wait to be settled in...and RELAX! Just a little...please? Shower time and gotta pack the ole' laptop. Love you guys! Will miss you mucho!

Felt Good On My Lips

Okay, the title of this post doesn't have much to do with the post, just REALLY love that song and its stuck in my head.

Here is the big, HUGE thing that's been weighing on me that I haven't mentioned up until now. I was not sure until 10:45am this morning if I would be deploying or not. Basically, I scheduled one last doc appointment beginning of Dec so I could get allergy medicine, get some advice for over there, blah blah. Trying to keep myself up! Well, my doc knew cancer runs in my family and did some routine tests for the lab and I got back some bad results. Convinced that it should be taken seriously given my family's history, he referred me to a specialist. They did further tests and decided to do a biopsy last week on me. The last words the doctor said to me were, "either nothing is wrong with you and your cells are just abnormal or you have cancer." Oh. Geesh. Thanks doc. And then I proceeded to ask the doctor if I could just take chemo with me and check in once we returned. Needless to say, I got a very stern talking to and he told me that it wasn't something to risk. So. Test results wouldn't be able to be reported to me until today at 10:45am. Christmas break sucked. New Years was stressful and until today, I had really been avoiding getting worked up over this deployment because words can't describe how crushed I would have been. This sounds so so SO silly but let me give y'all a little history. I swore I would never join the military...and ESPECIALLY not the Army. I grew up in a hell hole known as Fort Bragg, NC and it was embarrassing, some of those "soldiers". Incredibly arrogant douchebags. Fun, but insane. So 2 years into a premed degree when I had that gut instinct to join, I went with it. Scary, wasn't at ALL my cup of tea and it worked out. As soon as I got to my unit, I was told we were deploying. I wrote a letter to my commander asking to deploy with the unit and release me from my contract that kept me in school and out of deployment. It was such a huge deal when I signed up and now it meant nothing to me. I'm already a year ahead of my class, who cares? I can come back and finish. I KNOW I will. But right now, my priorities are with the Army. It is a huge deal for me. I simply can't explain it. My Aunt told me that whether or not I deployed, everything happened for a reason. And, this is what got me, she said: "Jamie, I'd hate to think or even say this but, what if something bad is going to happen and you weren't there and out of harm's way. God may be protecting you." I lost it. And you may never know what I mean unless you feel the way about the military like I do. IF something bad happens to MY unit. I AM supposed to be there. That is what I was MADE for!!! This is MY UNIT! I HAVE to be there if anything were to happen!!! It would break my heart if one drop of blood was lost and I could have been there to do something. Of course, she didn't understand. Anyways. That is why this deployment meant the world to me. Our unit is a mess. But its MY mess. And we are what we are, its my unit and I am a part of that disaster. I am a piece to that puzzle. Anywho. That is my big Hooah Hooah spill. I AM deploying, everything is fine, just something weird that my doc agreed to keep a close eye on so it hopefully doesn't develop into anything. So...I'M GOING TO DEPLOY!!! And, I couldn't be happier. In the mean time, I haven't been able to plan one way or another because I didn't know what to plan for...chemo, surgery or deployment. Now, I'm super far behind and have a ton to do.

Today, brought my paperwork in that cleared me. We had SUCH a busy day at the armory. Left there, ran a bajillion errands and didn't get out of my ACUs till about 6:30pm....we were released at 3pm. Went to dinner with the battles, went to karaoke one last time. Lots of support from everyone, it was sweet. Tomorrow one last lunch with Papa Scottie, he's wanting to take Beck and I to lunch so tomorrow we go. And then my mom, sister and her best friend will be here at about 2am. Have to pack my A and B bags...and a C bag since I have no rucksack. And clean the house and take everything to goodwill and finish gathering paperwork and do laundry and spend one last night with some friends. Seems impossible. But, that's what we're here for, to do way more than we ever thought possible. Even if it just means getting a lot done in one night =)

The Science of Life

So I have a theory. If your day starts off really bad, it ends really good. Thats a kindda silly theory but REALLY. If I have just and awful day, it normally turns around to something really good. And if my day starts off unusually well, I fear the falling apart of things later in the day! I have seen it happen mucho to me! Today was no exception either. I was having a really sucky day, just one of those days. Wake up, late to a Dr's Appointment then work, then work is a mess, then you accidentally stay an hour over because your computer clock is behind one hour. Yea, one of THOSE days. Well, sparing y'all the details, it sucked. My poor mother caught me very upset and I was more impatient in explaining the details like I normally could. And funny, she told my step dad and he called me just to cheer me up =) Sweet padastro! Bad day ended though when I went to pick up two of my friends and we went out to dinner with 22 of our closest friends and were toasted to and all kinds of warm and fuzzy things. And Daniel even came out so I was really glad even though things started off on an awkward foot, they ended very well. Most of us went over to Fox for Pint Night after and that was a good time too. Pretty packed but all the games were fairly sucky. No Red Sox, no Tar Heels, no Celtics, no Bruins or ANYTHING. But Mike was a nut and kept us entertained. So, good night. Bad day. But all will come together.

Tomorrow is a big day, we hit Title 10, which, for all you non-military peeps, means we're on Active Duty. Very surreal thing, it makes this very real! Also a big day for other reasons, those closest to me know what I am talking about but I will go into a little more detail once I have the full idea of what this means for me and my plans, until then, I'd rather not speculate one way or the other even though I definitely have been. VERY important day tomorrow.

To conclude, life is just so crazy. Its hard for anyone to understand, but especially for me. I need explanations and patterns and predictions. Life, however, is just what they say it is, a rollarcoaster. You just can't do all that. So, I'm trying to enjoy the sweet surprises of it.

Welp. That's all I got for tonight. Pretty exhausted and gonna catch some ZZZs.

Talk To The Rain, Talk To The Sky, Talk To The Man With The Reasons Why and Let Me Know What You Find

Busy day! Well, FEELS like it was busy. Trying to keep up and get on this thing as much as possible, so here it is! I was my pretty little house most of the day, preparing my black box and other things to get ready to leave for a year. Really, really, REALLY anxious. All totally normal emotions, I realize, but its just really hard to explain. Everything is pretty surreal right now. An NCO sent out a facebook message to those of us deploying, I can feel it...everyone can. Its so awesome to know that while our unit tends to be incredibly jacked up at times, we really are all in the same boat and can feel the emotions running.

I ran to Wally World and got some stuff to pack to send to Iraq and I had lunch with Beth and her dad, Bill. We went to Soups On which is one of my favorite restaurants here. Really a great place. I told Rod that we were leaving for deployment on Saturday and he about freaked out. Haha. It was really sweet, he gave us free cupcakesand got my e-mail and gave me his card to stay in touch. He even talked about sending us some stuff over there. Man, if I can get Soups On in over there, whats the point in coming back?! Haha, kidding. Obviously I wish a safe return for all the troops serving our country, myself included.

My cupcake, incredible,

but I just don't like sweets

all that much, so I didn't

finish it all. Its was

"Creamy Coconut"

Not a whole lot to say other than that, I have some friends that invited me out tonight but I just can't bring myself to go. Really not feeling it, my mind and my focus really is elsewhere, I'm ready to do this. And drawing it out with sappy goodbyes is not what I have in mind. I had a blast out last Thursday with Eric and Thomas so I guess that was my send-off. May do dinner tomorrow with some others, they're talking about doing a goodbye thing. Idk...all so silly and emotional.

Still have had medical stuff heavy on my heart. I have been thinking about how badly I want to be a part of that. I can't think of anything else I want out of life. Hmmm. I just love it! Welp, back to laundry and workin till I get tired!

Sunday Morning Rain Is Fallin

5 Days till we head out and begin our journey for deployment! I would say time has flown by, but it really doesn't seem like it has. The good times definitely flew by but Army training takes foreverrrrrrrrrr. So, no, it doesn't seem like it was yesterday we got our orders to deploy. I just hope to accomplish all that I need to in such a short time frame! Craziness, per the usual.

Today was a hot mess. I was really and I mean REALLY excited to spend my last Sunday in church and of course I hop in the car and have a flat. And it was redunkulous, a huge gash was in the tire. I, of course, am some worthless, helpless girl who doesn't know how to change a flat by myself. My friend was with me and I ended calling guys I know could help. They're awesome for coming out and changing it for me. But I'm still pretty annoyed that I had to be THAT girl sitting in a gas station helpless and doofy. Its just I've never been taught how! I swear, if I ever have kids,they have to be better off in the world than me. I walk around with 2 left feet all the time. So clueless and awkward. Lord knows. After that incident we decided to watch football in our church clothes at my friend's house. He was babysitting his niece and nephew and they were soooo cute! Apparently I'm super comfy because both kids took a nap...on me. It was cute =) I was just waiting for Thomas or Zack or Beth to ask if they too could take a nap on me. Despite having 2 kids, 2 dogs and 4 other people in the living room all day, we had a blast watching sports. Which, btw, my Tar Heels won, obviously. Whoot whoot! Definitely my #1 choice for med school, as of right now. Of course 2 more years until I even start applying, so things could change.

Came home and made dinner for Beth and I, we watched the last episode available of Boston Med on Hulu as we ate. And this episode was the best yet! They featured the world's 2nd face transplant and his journey. It was AMAZING!!!! He had a bad accident and fell onto a subway line face down with thousands and thousands of volts of electricity going through his body. According to the doctor, when you have that amount of voltage going through your body it literally vaporizes everything. So he was missing his nose, most of his mouth, his jaw/chin and even other parts. It is an absolute miracle the man lived. Well, there was another family with a man waiting on a heart transplant and he went in and I don't recall them officially saying, but I assumed he didn't make it through the transplant or never received one in time. His wife said as he was going in he told her if anything were to happen that she needed to remember he was an organ donor. As a man needing a heart, he knew how it could save a life. Well, the man died and was able to donate every piece of himself and the donor bank asked for the man's face, she agreed. They did the transplant and it was ground-breaking and a success overall. He will still need more surgeries, mostly for cosmetic purposes. The man was even able to meet the 1st face transplant patient. She looked really great, 3 years after her surgery. The donor's wife also was really set on meeting the man who received part of her husband's face. That was really moving, really shows how there is so much good to be found in the bad. One episode they had one person die in California and in 2 days time they were able to take 1 set of healthy lungs and transport them back to Boston, transplant them and save THREE LIVES! I just can't explain how rewarding that has to be. 1 set of lungs saves 3 people. I am super sad I am done with the show for now, really great and very inspiring.

Jim, world's 2nd Face Transplant Patient

Isabel, World's First Face Transplant

Well, tomorrow is my last day off and last day to sleep in for the next few months. We're really about to dive in head-first. It will be quiet an experience, just eager to get the ball rollin. I will be sure to post as I can. Btw, thank you Najwa for the website, found this on it and it looks a lot better! Just need to figure out how to fix that header.

Bingooooo

I have been so so SO motivated to write things down lately! A lot of that is because I have become highly obsessed with reading again and I have a couple of favorite blogs I keep up with. They're about medical school and it is like crack for me. Freaking amazing. Anyways.

Today! My lazy butt slept until 11:15!!!! That is VERY close tothe latest I have ever slept! It is really gay and I hate sleeping late. I am going to bed very soon because I like mornings too much to sleep through them. But anywho. Got up, got ready(as I watched Boston Med because that is crack times ten), went to lunch with a friend, then came back to the casa and cleaned some. I got a phone call from my friend saying that her and her dad were going to play bingo and he wanted me to come with them. Which, was surprising to me and I didn't feel like going out like I'd originally planned so I took them up on some games of bingo. Let me just say, this is funny I know, but really...bingo is INTENSEEEEE. Haha! They have like all these different games and different ways to win and different colored dabbers and there's a lot more to it than I'd ever thought. Haha. So hilarious, I loved it. And I was extremely annoyed because I didn't win and you have no control over what numbers are called so it really is the luck of the draw. No way to really improve! Haha.

AH! Another thing I'm still incredibly giddy over that I haven't mentioned yet...MY TAR HEELSSSSS!!! The other night I randomly called two of my guy friends to come out and catch the game with me at Fox. They are both Vols fans and I'm a Carolina/Georgia/anyone playing the freaking Vols fan. I haven't been to Fox since my bday because 1)Haven't had time 2)Haven't been in town and 3) Just thinking of Yeager bombs and 4 horsemen make me sick. I still curse you Michael Cook. And Adam. And Charlie. And Daniel. AND MICHAEL COOK TIMES TWO!!!!! So, we ventured out to Fox and had an absolute blast. There was like 2 people whowere Carolina fans and they dipped before Butch Davis even appealed the call. The other 50 or so people were definitely nasty Vols fans. Made lots of "frenemies", if you will, with all of my screaming and yelling. I was long overdue for some sports, ESPECIALLY Carolina beating Tennessee-type. Needless to say, the refs called the game, I was pissed and Bates tried to hug it out and tell me "not to be upset". Angry Jamie. And then, they reversed the call and my Tar Heels won!!!!! Its so strange, the bar was then pretty quiet and everyone was just laughing at me. Oh well, I had a blast and I was the only one happy with the outcome and I was okay with that. Good crowd. Bates and I went and met up with some other people at Taco Mac and Thomas wondered off there. It was a blast, glad Thomas is coming with us, definitely going to miss Young Bates. Lots to look forward to when we return. That's my spillon that amazing game that I'm still entirely too happy about though.

Next order of business and I swear I'll keep it brief. Boston Med...BEST SHOW EVER. I'm addicted and you should be too. Stuff just makes me way too excited to be a physician. I really think I'll end up going into Emergency Medicine or Pediatrics. ER is far from glamorous but definitely so rewarding and you have to be the best of the best, I think.

One last note before I close this out. My blog looks like crapppp so I'll spruce it up sometime soon. Ideas are definitely welcome. Night world!

New Year's...Obviously

Let me just start off by saying this, I never and I mean NEVER make New Year's Resolutions. No particular reason that I don 't my mindset is just pretty simple: "Let's make this year better than the last!" Excellent, still want to do that but I think maybe putting somewhat specific goals down will definitely help things in perspective. SO. Here's a couple of things I would like to improve:

1)Rather than being so reflective at times, I would like to really be more of a forward thinker. Striving more for what I want and less of what I miss. Life changes and there are reasons for it.

2)Be more picky. I'm quick to open up and befriend almost anyone. And, while that at times is an admirable thing, I really want to be pickier about who I draw close to me. I just think it really says someone is important to you when you're choosy about who you let in.

3)Stay organized, especially with finances. Since I moved in on my own again, keeping the living area organized isn't hard...at all. And with the finances, been doing that the last 5 months or so, still room for improvement but I've put a lot more thought into where my money is going and boundaries are easier to keep. Its been pretty smooth sailing which makes things much less stressful.

4)Complete decorating the house. SO EXCITED! I am building a picture book of what I want. Even though I'm renting, I know from past experiences how much a comfortable home affects everything. When I return from Iraq I want my focus to be school and a comfortable place to sail in and out of with little chaos to distract me. A functional home is crucial, for me anyways.

5)FITNESS. This year has been awful. With all our training, running just is boring at times. I'd really like to get into rugby again when I return and do some fun classes like yoga or kickboxing or join a running club.

6)Learn as much about the medical field as possible. Again, definitely been doing this anyways but I want to keep it up so that when I return to school some of this can just be a review. Its not a matter of memorizing it for a test, I have to know this stuff and continuously learn so that I can help others all that I can.

7)WORK ON MY SPANISH. I miss it, another important aspect for me in my career goals.

8)Spend more time with family. Sometimes its so easy being still "wet behind the ears" so to speak with living my own life. Its really refreshing that for the past 5 years I've not had to report to someone and ask permission for petty things. But, my family loves me and they are an important part in my life because they made me who I am. Spending time with them will never let me forget where my roots and my heart came from.

9)Be a better friend. Karma definitely exists. For whatever reason you may believe, be it the universe, the gods, THE God, mother nature...whatever, when you bless others, blessings fall upon you. But most of all, when and if things ever go sour in a situation, you can look back with a clear conscious knowing you were genuine. With that being said, BE GENUINE. Suprise your family and friends, remind them they are wanted and loved. There is nothing better than making someone feel wanted.

10)Goodwill. Get rid of my crap on a more regular basis.

11)Work on religion. I have a very good idea about what I believe but I definitely want to commit to my beliefs and be sure I do not waiver in what I believe. Be it God or nothing at all even.

12)Painting and cooking. Two hobbies that I don't do a whole lot, fairly decent at both, but the more I practice with it, the better and more comfortable I will become.

13)Had to make it to #13 because its my favorite number =) Journal or blog more regularly. I am deploying this year and it is so important to remember how these experiences change me.

Well. I am beat, its 5am and New Year's Eve was a pretty good success. Next year, I am getting really dolled up. Weather was too gross and we didn't go out, just had a house party. Next year, bar hopping or something. An excuse to dress up is ALWAYS welcome. I hope you all had a fantastic 2010, blessings in 2011!