Breathe Easy

Have you ever noticed that no matter what happens in your life or how much you age there are certain things that never change? Well for me one of them is staying crazy busy. I feel like I need to always be learning, seeing and doing. My mind and body always have to be in motion. It is normally a great thing, but sometimes it has its downfalls. Today is my first day off since Easter and I'm not complaining because I haven't missed out on anything really but these last couple of weeks have proven to be stressful. Moving being at the top of the list. To spare the world with the sappy and lengthy story, we'll just sum it up as complete bullshit. So, FINALLY Friday night the people moving out got all of their stuff out. And just like that, about 3/4 of my stress melted away. Now today I have up since 6am motivated to get my place together! And it won't really be completely done for a few weeks but man it feels great. Aside from that which has been heavy on my mind, everything around me is the same, fun and kindda keeping me on edge. I worry that I'm not doing all I can to show those around me what they mean to me, my family and my friends. Yet, I worry that I am overwhelming to them also. Its a hard place to strike a balance. I was once told you treat people how you want to be treated and I don't mean the concept of it, I mean people LITERALLY give love in the manner how they want love to be given to them. So I love and talk and talk and talk way too much. Thats how I show my love. And give lots of hugs =)Its a very intimidating thing for me, as silly as it sounds. I love everyone, no matter what a pain in the ass they are. But for the people that I really am close with or want to further my relationship with, its hard to show that affection because I so badly want to, yet I don't want to push them away. Because not everyone is like me. When you find someone you care about you want it to be right. So I'm holding my breath and crossing my fingers yet trying to keep my balance for the sake of my sanity. Its so much fun, its almost like you feel unstoppable but given past experiences its so easy to be let down by people, intentionally or unintentionally. I am human, I want to say that past wounds have healed but if I know they can be easily open again, have they really? A question for me to take into consideration. Until I figure it out though, I have so many great things to look forward to! My sweet baby bubs will be one and I get to go and celebrate with him and my amazing and retarded family. And I'm bringing my friend Steph, maybe one or two more. I love my family so much and friends and I love seeing them interact because for me its having the best of both worlds. Very selfish, I KNOW! =( But it is fantastic to me. I have one more regular rugby match to look forward to and the 7s, which I am incredibly nervous about. I want to be a great athlete and that involves a lot of patience and dedication I worry I may not posses. These players are so experienced and I am still merely a rookie. I'm eager to further my game big time. I also get to go to Boston very soon! Its bittersweet, I have a guy from my unit who will be there the same timeframe which is really obnoxious but I need to learn patience anyways. On top of that I will really miss the people I see around here. Tons =( I am excited to experience things but for me most of the fun is who you experience them with. All this just says its time to take a step back, stop thinking so much and breathe easy. As Gabe Dixon says, "all will be well".