Here We Go Again

I think my computer will blow up before I am done with this month. Well this week it seems. Tonight. My roommate. She wanted to go out and celebrate being 21. So we had some ideas in mind. We get ready, go out, determined to make it a fantastic time. She FINALLY makes up her mind what she wants to do and we arrive at our destination. Only to recieve a phone call from her sister. Who, I will not get into details about, but I do not think she does my roommate right. Her sister calls right as we're parking to say that her boyfriend has overdosed on some fucking drug and is sitting in the Best Buy parking lot about 35 minutes away from where we are in HER car and can't drive home. SO she needs us to go get him and bring him and her car home. I flat out tell Steph, "this is the time you tell her you will get her car but leave his ass at Best Buy and make HIM find a way home". But, as usual, Steph caves. I'm not mad I'm not going out, its whatever. I'm sleepy anyways. BUT STEPHANIE ONCE AGAIN IS HER SISTER'S BITCH. More importantly, it made me think about Barrett and Beth's relationship. How he is such a scum bag, cheating, trying to cheat, unmotivated, lazy, disgusting, I could go on and on. But he has that big thing that I refuse to ever forego again...TRUST. It made me think back to Napoleon and how awful he was throughout our almost 3 years. It made me so much better though and I will never, and so far haven't, fallen victim to this trap of not being important enough for you to be honest with me. And once again, seeing this scares me away from men again. Yes, I know all men aren't this way, blah blah. But when will come the time when I find someone that will keep up with me AND be worthy of my trust. Especially because I don't find it hard to earn. I trust unless I have reason not to. If you have nothing to hide, its pretty easy to see. My mom always told me when I was little that I had "an ippecable judgement in a person's character". Not that I knew what the hell it ment at that age, but still. I totally am blinded by people at times, well, SUPRISED. You didn't think this person was such a perv, you didn't think this one was such a bum, etc. But for the most part, I get to know someone and I see how they will fit into my life and how far to take that friendship. I get burned romantically once I am in waist deep but you know, its a learning process and the deeper I get, the closer I am to finding the right one. Until then, IT SUCKS. And you will never, NEVER catch me at the wrath of that bullshit. I have been blinded by being in love and it slowed my reaction, but it never prevented me from walking away when I saw our problems were too much to fix. And now look at that man, 26 still struggling with his place in life, going from job to job, using his charm to have the world provide for him. All while some guy pays for his school because he can strike a tune on the piano. He has 2 different girls he got pregnant, neither of which he really cared much for. If I had stuck around just a little longer it could have easily been me. And I'm so thankful its not. I don't want that or him for that matter. So. Love. Its sucks. But one day, it shall be worth it. Until then, I'm going to take care of me and those I love.